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My First Time at L.A. Auto Show

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I have known that there is such a thing as an automobile show. Apparently it is a big thing. But seeing as I don't drive and have limited interest in automobiles (unless they are painted in an artist way or are creatively off the mainstream) then I had no need to go spend money traipsing over the L.A. Convention center.


Until this year. See, I really want a self driving car.  Hell, I want the majority of Los Angeles to have a self driving car. Why? Because most Angelenos can't drive. They cut right in front of city buses. They have the phone in their face slurping something as they turn the corner and almost hit me.

I have witness bone stupidity from people behind the wheel. It is time, long past time for these people to be placed in a controlled vehicle.

So, I got to thinking. I think a lot and most times nothing comes from it. But this time I was thinking harder than usual. Maybe Google and the other autonomous car vendors will be at the show. And I could get a gander at what I think could be functional available by 2017 in California.

So I take a bus, another bus and a train to the Convention Center. Big honking place.

I get my ticket and turn a corner and bam, there it was. This model is from Volvo and the person, who is not a booth bunny, told me that in Sweden they are just about good to go.

I'll put Sweden in the summer on the bucket list of travel possibilities. It doesn't bother me I would travel half way around the world to test out the car. I'm impatient.

So I found one car I was sure that I'd find more. I spent three hours in that joint. Verily I looked at just about every car in the place. There were plenty of hybrids. Electrics. Diesels. A ton of red cars; pretty, shiny things that will guarantee you will be pulled over every night for the next 15 years.

I almost bought food at the event until I understood that $11.00 was the starting point for most meals. That frugal bone started to twitch and I made do with a $5 frozen drink.

Back to hoofing. I saw high toned low end cars and beep-beeps that where encased in plastic walls so that no mere mortal could touch them.

I'm still hoofing for another autonomous car. I'm about to give up when I found one at the Honda area. More on that later.

Lessons Learned

I have to say I had per-conceived notions about who goes to an auto show. Now, some of those notions were correct. There were T-shirt wearing offenders like "I (heart) rim jobs. 

But really there were families, married people and not always the husband as the car junkie. There were dad's introducing sons to the car life. There were women who knew what the lingo was and comparing gears to wheel base ratio something or other.

It was Greek to me but god bless 'em. Oh, one more thing.

I was in the rest area. This married couple sat beside me. Dude was telling his wife/partner/significant other that the Ford trucks will be converted from a steel base to a composite one because of up coming EPA regulations.  He also said that the steel industry was busy trying to kill or alter the requirements so that steel would be in the trucks.

From the way he was talking, it sounded like the word environmental was a pejorative. 

Anyway, it was an experience I'm still processing. On account it took three hours to get home. 

Yeah. Another reason why I want the car.

Pershing Square Downtown Los Angeles 2014

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I was feeling blah so I went for a walk. Which means I hopped a bus, a bit of a train and then I walked around downtown Los Angeles. So much has changed.

There was a time when you walked quickly and held your nose as you passed Pershing Square. It was a camp town for the homeless and those that didn't have any other place to go. Or got chased out of those cities and wound out downtown.





There are still homeless folk in the park but not as many as there use to be. The area is being upscaled so that there is more cleaning, more hi-rise apartments and more hi-toned, expensive stores coming into the area.

There has been ice skating for the holidays for a couple of years. Not sure how they manage to keep it skatable but they do find a way. Unless it is really hot. On this Saturday it was about 79F/26C so it was doable.

There was more ice walking than skating. I think TV bamboozled folks into thinking all you have to do is lace up and go. But it was good to stop and reflect on how you can turn a corner and see something amazing.

Ice skating without ear muffs or pants in November.


Not Gone But Distracted

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I meant to go back to The Last Bookstore in downtown L.A. I didn't make it. I was seduced by the 99 Cents Only store. And Samy's Camera. More about that later.


There was a moment when I looked at the woman in the chair and I felt, something. Well, it was more than that; like time traveling to a bookstore off of Market Street, past the hot pretzel store.

More like a window. But there was a place where broke folks could do serious reading. You could find books for 25 cents or four for a dollar.

Magazines for a dime or high toned ones for fifty cents. A place where you buy underground comix like Dirty Duck and Mickey Rat. Or Pudge, Girl Blimp.

Have I written about this before? Hold on...

Dang it. I think I have a cootie in my browser.

So I'll have to stop being an old fuddy duddy and deal with something trying to report back to home base. 

But there is something about her looking for a resting place. A place where solid words are still honored and not used as a weapon or talking points. Which I'm not going to be able to contemplate because something is messing with my system.

Because you have to invade to sell. Sell, sell and keep selling no matter what.

Whoopie, assault capitalism.

(Not against capitalism. Not necessarily for it either. I am against malware.)

Microbloging and Li'L Abner

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Having trouble not writing in anger. So I don't write. And then I feel bad leading to worse. I'm stumbling around the 'Tubes and I see Mel's post about re-embracing our blogs by microblogging. Instead of giving it to Twitter or Facebook give to yourself first.



I use to get booed at Show and Tell. Don't care, I still do it.

There is a web site that collects government and non-profit comic books. These were produced for the common good or to instruct the population about an important issue. I'll write more on the archiving blog but I can say that small step to reclaim my non-angry voice is making me late for work.

Another Tool to Battle the Inner Lil Hater

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Struggling to write and create because of a lot of things. I know so many better people than myself and a kind of toxic "Don't you dare" took root. Fighting my way back by finding resources internal and external to myself.




This is is a really clear presentation; you'll get the full body of it without having to think about what the Denise Jacobs actually meant to say. Everyone one into the healing pool of creativity and support.

Breathe. Being quiet. Listen.

It is okay.

Really.


Flops, Failures and Limited Success

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I have not blogged for weeks. I've been working on a project. I'm in suck mode at the moment. Just when I think I have a glimmer I fall down. It is so frustrating!




I'm trying to create short videos about anxiety and panic disorders. I have to be accurate, not dull, not boring and meet certain literacy requirements. I want to restrict how much editing and tweaking I have to do on it. I'm using Adobe Voice for composition.

When I look at other information graphic videos it isn't good enough. I'm using Adobe Voice, not Adobe After Effects. I know that.

Now, having Anne Lamott in my Twitter stream is a very good thing. She talks about this all the time. Bang it out, bring it into the world and then dress it up. Put your butt on the chair and write.

So the internal hater is working overtime to not let me move on. I'm posting this here because I'm going to try again to create something helpful and watchable. Or something.

The success of this day is that I do have something to show. I think it could be better but that is down the road a bit.  I feel like Edison with bulb number 48.



Racking Up the Numbers

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It was a good day. I had cake for breakfast. Once a year you should have cake for breakfast if you want. Or sushi. Or a smoothie. Maybe not at the same time.


Yesterday I took photos. Walking around the southland just seeing what there was to see. No reason just because I really like taking photos and it seems that I don't make enough time for that anymore.

Well, I shouldn't say there wasn't a reason. My goal was to take 57 photos.


Looking at color, form, what is and isn't being sad about a piece of steel. I walked and had a Metro day pass so I was hoping on and off, turning corners I hadn't been to in a while and checking out the doings of the world around me.


I started with Instagram but I find it hard to take a photo and type on a screen. I'm still learning how to use it. No need to ridicule; my prior phones couldn't install Instatgram and I held onto one of those phones for 6 years.

I won't post all of the photos but I have some nice shots. And I missed blogging. Messing around too much on Twitter. Naw, I can't blame Twitter. It has been hard being connected to social media. There is a level of hostility and flat out cruelty that is mind boggling.

Factor in overt and covert racism being flung proud as a freak flag and I've just about withdrawn from many paths of commentary. There are fewer places where women can express themselves without being threatened.

I'm about to jump back with a new project. Still in beta.

Yeah. My life in beta.

Los Angeles Bach in the Subway Day 2015

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Yes I was a gal about town and it just so happens that I found myself at Union Station.







My other cameras were on life support and I had my trusty old Samsung Android 2.3  MP3 player to help share the magic. I have to say I'm really glad I had my selfie pole also know as a monopod.

Communities form and dissolve quickly here. There was a quiet joining of history and music that touched people enough to stop and be a part of the experience.


Status Report - The Fish Are Traveling

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I'm still working on the not so secret project. I'm trying to create a limited series podcast on mental health and anxiety spectrum issues. I have everything I need but time. Actually, I have that too but allocating enough time is a challenge.




Just when I think I've nailed it down I learn something new that has to be included.There are now apps that help folks manage or control their anxiety. It is a freaking free for all with all kinds of players and dang near no regulation. And there is new fangled eletro-stimulation type devices and tele-mental health treatment, both valid and bogus.

I guess one of my challenges is to make a clear definition of anxiety. There is everyday anxiety, situational anxiety and then you got your Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders classification no doubt about it you are somewhere rock solid on the Anxiety/Panic Disorder Spectrum.

Yeah.

I have to hook up with a podcasting distribution service and a few others things. Like finish writing the frigging scripts and then it is on to putting it out there.

Paddling.

Learning Something New and It Hurts

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So I'm just about ready to launch the audio podcast. I've had to speed learn about audio production, distribution and making it good.

My head hurts. It is like looking at the above highway sign. I know the form and the shape I want the podcast to take. I can see it and almost hear it in my head.


But I gotta get it out of my head and into the real world. I tell you, working with video is easier for me but you gotta try something new.

So, what have I learned:

Number 1. 

I do not want to do an interview show. When you start to learn about audio podcasting 99.999% of it is geared toward creating interview shows. Nothing wrong with interview shows. Not a bit. But I don't want to do one. Okay, fine but many of the people teaching about building a podcast talk about Skype and interviewing.

There are audio theater podcasts. History podcasts. Educational, sci-fi and a whole bunch more than interview podcasts. I swear to Jeebus there isn't anybody left to interview.

Then again, if you learn the basics and chuck out what you don't need you can do anything you want once you ramp up to speed.

Which is why I want to give a shout out to the History Pocasters; these folks take history and sometimes craft it into visions of audio drama or edutainment.  It is closer to the form that I want to try and it was really helpful.

Number 2

If you want piece of mind sometimes you have to pay for it.  This means being more efficient with time and resources. I didn't have time to dog down certain photos, sound fx or music themes. I purchased royalty free music and images. I got what I wanted and got it off my to do list.

Number 3

Failure. Not a big fan of it. Here is the thing. I can work in Audacity. It is a great free audio editing program. But I can barely function in it. Part of that is trying to learn and use it at the same time. Never a good thing. I had to let go of ego and watch a couple of good and bad tutorials.

I was so frustrated that I  used one of my video editing programs that can record audio to make prototypes. It was faster and I could test out ideas. That worked really well.

It just so happens that I had a music editing called Sony Acid Studio 10 on my computer that I like a whole lot better and found out that I can use it for podcast. I can move elements visually and bango chango it has made a huge difference.

So yeah, keep failing until you stumble into success.

I got a lot more failing I need to do so dig you later...

Just About Ready to Launch

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It has been a headache. A journey. A wallet cleaner. A commitment made and un-made. Just one more item I have to do and then it will be launch time.

This is the podcast logo I'm going with at the moment:


I've been through a bunch of them. Some fug ugly and some that were conceptually good but when I blew them up to the required 1400x1400 size they looked awful.

And then there is the change to 3000x3000 that just came into effect by Apple.

Yes. Okay.

I have bought microphones. I am up to my hips in microphones. If you are remotely thinking about podcasting go ahead and buy the Audio Technica podcasting microphones. Especially if you want you voice to have some solidity to it.

What else?

Fear.

The fear of making a fool of myself. Of making mistakes. Of having people jump down my throat for making a mistake. That one isn't an unreasonable fear. I was watching a tech show and the two hosts did not know the type of material the item was made of; they thought maybe it was plastic, or metal or something.

Mind you they were reviewing the product. The comment were rough. Yes, they should have known what they had in their hands but they were roasted for not doing their homework before the show.

Here is the thing. It wasn't a serious "tech review show." But dang if the jackals didn't circle around the campfire.

I don't want to know people that leave that type of comments. Ever.

Yet they say put you azz on the line and give it a good.

They are right.


My First Step Into The Void

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This is the start of what I have been working on for about six months. It has changed forms. It will change again but I had to stop talking about it and do it.

This is episode 000 of the Anxiety Road Podcast.  The podcast will talk about anxiety and panic attacks, treatment, some history and a wee bit of goofyness to make the information go do a bit easier.



I wish I could do the mental health version of Beakman's World. I can't but I can try to get the word out that mental health information and stigma busting does not have to be total drag.

The show notes page is located at anxietyroadpodcast.blogspot.com

We All Rock at Different Speeds

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I was on the bus and this man was verbally attacking a woman. Nothing new in that; seems to be an open sport now days. But you could tell that she had a problem, a mental health problem.

Old boy thought that insulting her, damning her and otherwise make her aware that she did not measure up to the high bar of humanity that he set himself up to be as lord and master of the planet.

The bus driver had had enough. He told the man "Shut up or get off the bus. You will not continue to disrespect this woman on my bus. "Shut up or get off...shut up or get off."

The woman was rocking back and forth and fighting back as best she could. The bus driver told her "Snap it back in place or get off the bus. Snap it back."

She stopped talking but was rocking, back and forth. Back and forth. She did the best she could under the circumstances. I guess the bus driver accepted rocking was as good as he was gonna get and we rolled on down the street.

Eventually she slowed down and was as stable as she was going to get.

Old boy was still making with the eyes of intolerance but he shut up too.

I'm thinking a lot about the insanity that is romping around as public discourse.  We are freaking the hell out. We are not being treated. We are being assaulted and I don't know what it will take to get us to a stable place of being.

On the Podcast Beat

I got a new episode out today, this one is on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and the Panic Relief app.






Every episode is a knock down dragged out war and I officially have gone through 5 microphones and still it is a fight to get my audio levels up. I don't have a problem speaking up but I am not loud enough.

In other words I have yet to find my microphone technique. It is a process but at this point it feeling like I'm bargain basement cheese spread.

Bonding with Tewt

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Not too many animated cartoons got past me as a kid. I even watched the ones I didn't like just to be informed of how much I didn't like it. I was a shade too young to catch up with The Mighty Hercules.

The initial run of the Trans-Lux Hercules was from 1963 to 1966  and I managed to miss it. I was hip deep into the Mighty Marvel Marching Society.


This is Tewt.



Me and Tewt have bonded and I wished I had seen him as a kid. I like the little fella.The kid's got sense and spunk.

The Mighty Hercules had better animation than Clutch Cargo. Clutch, you might remember was the animation where only the lips moved. Human lips.

It was creepy. It was fascinating. It was extremely limited animation.

Hercules does move but they recycled a lot of board work. After the third episode you get the gist of what is happening, what is going to happen and oh yeah, Olympia!




You don't have to watch it but just in case you were curious.

Now, Hercules is not the brights bulb but he gets the job done. He is befriended by Newton who is a centaur that says almost everything twice. If Newton is really upset he doesn't repeat everything. That doesn't happen very often.

Newton has four legs, Tewt has two. Just so you don't get confused.



Tewt doesn't speak. He has a pan pipe that has to be interpreted by those around him.

Tewt is pro-active. If he is saved or gets away my boy is running and not looking back until he finds himself some rocks to hide behind. He is not a coward. Tewt just want to get a breath of safety before he dives back into action.


Tewt does help and sometimes he saves folks. Out of all the characters in the cartoon he seems to be the only one that is willing to step up and help. It doesn't always work out but you'd have to look at all the taller folks in his world to see who and what he has to deal with.

I'm feeling ya dude.

Yeah, yeah Hercules has iron in his thighs and when he remembers to put on the ring he is powerful.
He don't always remember to put on the right. That ring doesn't always solve the problem.

Tewt is a better wing man, er satyr.  He deals with what he can and is loyal but does not want to wind up something close to dead.

So what I have learned doing a crash course on The Mighty Hercules is that good friends are important. Choose your friends wisely. We could all stand a few more Tewts in our lives.





P.S. Episode 005 of the Anxiety Road Podcast is now up for grabs. Still struggling with the format and those got dang plosives and SSSS but can't turn back now.

Say the Name and Accept Who We Are

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I'm grinding down to a halt but I wanted to get this posted. There is a web site called Teaching Books.net. As I understand it it is a way to find authors for children and young adult books.

The site seems to support the people that make reading magical.





I say hook that rascals by any means necessary so it is all good to me. One of the items on the site is how to say an author's name.

I learned about the origin of Karen Finnyfrock's name. Hint: Chow Chow!

I think I'm going to have to practice Geert Spillebeen's name because there is more to it than it looks on a page.

And author Chieri Uegaki name is a lesson in respect, flexibility and good friends wanting to call you by your name.



Speaking of names the latest episode of the podcastis up. Not as many problems as before but I have to learn not to hit the desk when I am trying to make a point. I get kinda involved with my hands.

So Tired Almost Forgot to Give the Post A Name

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It is tough trying to be creative, productive and earn a living. I am tired. As in sleepy.


 

I want to say a lot of things but there are too many people talking already. Most of them are pushing air out there is no sense in their words.

I'd pontificate more but it is way past my awake time. But I did it. Imperfect and popping more Ps than a field of popcorn but the sucker is up.

Fermenting and Maybe Letting Go

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I do like the mini docs from the New York Times; quiet intimate views of real people trying to make their way in the world.


I sometimes like to imagine that I would become a back to nature homesteader. The reality is that it takes a hell of a lot of work. There isn't anything romantic about it but the landscape, sky and trees.

Everything else requires hard labor and love.

But I do like the lack of people. The earth and sky. The quiet.

Then I remember the few times I was in the country I got kinda itchy after two weeks. There is a part of me that needs city life too. Still, I even this man. He as both and maybe, maybe it is possible to have both in one lifetime.


Speaking of letting go there is a new episode of the Anxiety Road Podcast; this one is on music tricks to nip an attack and a breath game for iOS and Android.

Klownie Kar Follies Struck A Nerve

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I generally shake my head and move on from the Klown Kar follies. I know what is being said but there is only so much verbal spewing that a person can stand.

I should ignore it because in another two weeks it will not matter. Damn it. This matters to me. I am a grandchild child of emancipated people.

Ignorance matters to me. The misstatements of laws, context and circumstances make me a little testy. When Klownie #1 starts talking about anchor babies I was offended, but I considered the source and went on about my business.





When Klownie #26 pipes in that he too wants to revoke birth citizenship even though his own non-resident parents gave birth to him on U.S. soil, I kept moving forward because hypocrisy has a way of kicking your own ass and it didn't need my help.

For my non-U.S. friends and acquaintances if you don't know about the Dred Scott decision by the 1857 US Supreme Court then here is the short version:


Huckabee claims that this decision is still on the books. He believes that it is still a law, just a law that we no longer follow.

My understanding of what Huckabee is getting at is that he believes that gay marriage is an attempt by the Supreme Court to circumvent the will of the people and of the Congress.

That Ms. Davis had every right to refuse to issue marriage licenses because it is a violation of her faith and what she understands to be her rights under her authority as a clerk in Kentucky to invalidate an erroneous decision.

Oh, hell no. See, if you go messing with the 13th and 14th amendments then you messing in my neighborhood. And although many people, even on the conservative side, have pointed out his error to him (No, that freaking law does not still exist.) Klownie is holding on for dear life.

This will pass. Somebody will say something more stupid in a couple of days. But how the hell do you get to be a presidential candidate without knowing United States history?

There are decent people who are fiscal Republicans, faith based Republicans and every pro-choice Republicans but I do not accept any party that wants to ratchet me back to 1857.

All lives matter my ass.

The Busyness of Life or Making Time for Life

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I have been busy. We all have been busy. Doesn't mean that we are doing anything of high importance. It does mean that we are doing assigned and unassigned tasks that have repercussions if we don't get at it. 

I'm cranky. I'm just tired of rank and file bullshit. I need to bust out of my own personal L7 and rejuvenate.

What is that smell? Oh, yeah...have to attend to that.




How are you supposed to stop and smell the roses when they are ten miles across town in a special growing area that you have to pay $12.50 to walk around? It is worth it to walk around cultivated garden, and there is far more than roses. But you have to be willing to jump through hoops to be in nature.

I have this feeling of taking a trip. A small one. Just to do something different. Not going to be climbing walls or running in a barefoot marathon but a break from the clock punching cubicle bunny I seem to have evolved into.

Would love to hugs some trees. Or walk by the ocean. It isn't impossible. The woulda, coulda shouldas are catching up with me and I want to respect that time is moving on.

There isn't room to talk about what you want to do but do it or else.

And another thing, sitting in front of a computer isn't always a good thing. You need real life.
There are a whole bunch of people that have never experienced it without a communication device in their hands.

I know how to be with me.

Well, I use to.

I can do it. I'm sure. I think.


In other news, Episode 015 of the Anxiety Road Podcast his posted. This week I talk about the ACES Too High questions to help folks figure out if their childhood had a number of adverse conditions but the bulk of the show is about videos that talk about shame or provide resources to deal with shame.

Slowly getting comfortable with my voice. Couldn't do a dang thing about the airplane in the middle of the show. I tell you, Auphonic is the bomb diggity of audio cleaners. Meaning, they clean and I benefit.

Time for mindless entertainment. Busyness. More busyness.

Bryan Stevenson at Zeitgeist 2015

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I am leery about talking about problems without attempting to have space for ideas and solutions.

I am weary of people finding excuses for damning other people to hell without having a slice of compassion or the ability to lean to the left or right to see another point of view.




And if you have been in hell how much grace will you receive for being less than perfect as you try to find your way out?

This is a talk by Bryan Stevenson. Among many things,he is the author of Just Mercy: A Story of Justice and Redemption. He was invited to speak at Google Zeitgeist.

This gentleman is a master speaker so he will draw you into the concepts he is trying to convey.

It is just under 27 minutes in length.You will not hear any of the presidential candidates go deep into solutions. They can't. They don't have any. And if they did the other side would be the obstruction force.

We, on the other hand, can come up with solutions. It can be flip positive.
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